Fasting is Khidr (See Sura Kahf, 18:60-82) reaching out to you. Like Moses, you are walking side by side with Khidr now. This will be a difficult companionship. Things are happening, and you don’t get their wisdom yet.
You crossed over the river together. Fasting made a hole in your ship that was to take you to peace. It left you hungry. It left you thirsty. It took away from you even the permitted lust. It ended all your solutions. It disturbed your peace. Perhaps you resent “why all this meanness?”
See how your Lord is “teaching you that which you did not know.” [Sura Alaq, Q. 96:5] You do not know that “human being exceeds all bounds, when he thinks he is self-sufficient” (Alaq, 6-7). The moment you declare that ‘I am self-sufficient,’ you start falling into an abyss…You are fasting now. Are you not aware that you are not self-sufficient? You are unable to feed yourself. If you always remain full, you will not recognize your neediness. If you think you are fine on your own, you will become haughty, arrogant. You lose it, and delude yourself. You forget your own reality and aggrandize yourself. You think that you are able to do anything. You imagine that you own everything. You will be deceived into this colorful dream. Your self-pride [kibr] will take over you like a tyrant. It will take you from you, tricking you with your fake power.
And now, Khidr’s fast left you in hunger. It pierced through your satiety. It tore down all your pretensions of self-sufficiency. No one can feed you. None can fill you. Now, you’ve seen the reality. You’ve realized that what is in your hands is not yours. You now know that just because you paid for something does not make it yours. Water is not yours, neither are your lips yours. You are not the owner, you are owned. You are weak, your Lord is the Powerful One (al-Qadīr). You are poor, and your Lord is Merciful.
Now, reread what Khidr told Moses as applying to you: “As for the boat [of body], it belonged to some needy people who made their living from the sea. And I damaged it because coming after them was a king [of arrogance] who seized on every boat by force.” [Kahf, 19:78]
And, now, you utter Moses’ words in response: “God willing, you will find me patient. I will not disobey you in any matter.” [Kahf, 19:69]
By Senai Demirci
(translated by Isra Yazicioglu)